Mop Water

There was once a thirsty man who had never tasted water.

He wondered at his thirst and had spent much of his life searching for something to quench it.

One day, when he felt particularly thirsty, a friend told him about the Temple of the Holy Mop Water. His friend asked if he would like to be introduced to the rector.

Not having much else on his plate, he said that he would.

The rector was a considerate, elderly man with passionate eyes, and told him all about how, in the mythical past, the Divine Janitor gave the world Holy Mop Water to drink, and how it slakes the peoples’ thirst and provides them with all that they need, both for the now and hereafter.

And so the man drank the mop water, and while his thirst was somewhat quenched, it also made him feel a bit queasy. It didn’t sit well in his stomach.

After a time, however, he grew accustomed to the uneasy feeling in his gut, and how, at times, he felt like wretching. He was grateful nontheless that his throat was no longer parched.

After the old rector passed away, the man was elevated to his seat as a reward for his many years’ unwavering devotion to the temple.

One day, as he was walking along a dusty road, he met a wise man carrying a bucket of clean drinking water drawn from a well.

The wise man offered him a mouthful of his water so that he might notice the difference between clean water and mop water.

And while this new water was indeed refreshing and tasted delightful, he had become so accustomed to the queasiness that inevitably followed the drinking of water, that he no longer could separate the two sensations.

He said to the wise man, “While your water has unexpected qualities, it does not cause the discomfort I associate with the alleviation of thirst.

“And furthermore, if I accept your water, how can I reconcile it with the doctrine of our Divine Janitor, and how His Mop was guided by Angels to purify the floor of the world?

“You must go your way, and I must go mine.”

The two men never spoke to each other again.

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ABOUT WRITING OF THE WEEK

Each week, to keep the creative juices flowing, I will write something (who knows what?). It will probably be a draft and require some additional love, so please be forgiving. I invite you to join me on this journey. I will try to publish something every Monday.

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The Cosmic Cheeseburger

There was once a man who had read about the Cosmic Cheeseburger and very much wanted to taste one.

He sought out a cook who, it was told, could prepare such a delicacy.

The cook said to him, “Your palate is not yet refined enough to appreciate the subtle flavors of a Cosmic Cheeseburger.”

The man did not believe him and asked to be tested so as to prove that he was, indeed, discrimating enough to taste one.

So, the cook prepared two cheeseburgers. He said, “The first cheeseburger is an ordinary cheeseburger. The second is a Cosmic Cheeseburger. Taste them both and describe to me your sensations.”

So, the man tasted both cheeseburgers. The first cheeseburger tasted like any ordinary cheeseburger, the likes of which he had tasted a thousand times before. The second cheeseburger, however, tasted of divine origin, as if the hand of God Himself came out of the clouds and set it on his plate.

The man described his experience and exclaimed triumphantly, “Do you see? I can most certainly tell the difference, and I both humbled and awestruck to have received such a revelation.”

The cook responded, “You are a hypocrite and a fool. Unbeknowst to you, I prepared not one, but two Cosmic Cheeseburgers.

“In the first case, you are not, as I said before, sensitive enough to experience the flavors of a Cosmic Cheeseburger, and because you were not expecting them, you missed it entirely.

“In the second case, it is only your pride deluding you into imagining the flavors of a Cosmic Cheeseburger. The real experience of such flavors would not have produced the hysterics you described.”

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ABOUT WRITING OF THE WEEK

Each week, to keep the creative juices flowing, I will write something (who knows what?). It will probably be a draft and require some additional love, so please be forgiving. I invite you to join me on this journey. I will try to publish something every Monday.

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The Man and the Gardener

There was once a man who wanted to smell flowers. He sought out a famous gardener and said to him, “I want to smell the flowers in your garden.”

The gardener noticed that he had nose plugs in his nostrils.

“Until you remove those nose plugs, I’m afraid you won’t be able to smell anything, let alone the flowers in my garden.”

The man was taken aback. “These nose plugs were given to me by my father, and given to him by his father, and he from his, and so on, through many generations. With them, I am able to avoid the smell of garbage, which, as I’m sure you know, is not only repulsive, but can infect you with certain viruses that cause sickness.”

“This is all well and good. But you see, there is no garbage in my garden, so it is safe to remove your nose plugs. You won’t need them here.” the gardener responded.

“How can I be sure?” the man asked.

“I can only offer you my assurances.”

“I want certain proof that I will not be harmed.”

“Even if I could provide such a proof, would you believe it? In any case, I’m not telling you to remove them forever. Perhaps you can try it for a time, and then you will know.”

The man considered this proposal for several moments before saying, “The idea of moving about your garden without my nose plugs firmly in place makes me extremely uncomfortable. How can I be sure you have no garbage hidden somewhere … perhaps behind those bushes?

“No. It simply cannot be done. I will seek out another gardener who will provide me the experience I desire without all this preliminary nonsense which I find not only unwholesome, but unnecessary, as well. Good day.”

The man left, and the gardener never heard from him again.

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ABOUT WRITING OF THE WEEK

Each week, to keep the creative juices flowing, I will write something (who knows what?). It will probably be a draft and require some additional love, so please be forgiving. I invite you to join me on this journey. I will try to publish something every Monday.

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Two Men

There were once two men. Each man held a mirror to himself. Each man saw a ravenous beast staring back at him.

The first man was looking at himself because he fancied himself a man.

The second man only looked at what he feared himself to be, and kept that image in his mind as he went about his day.

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ABOUT WRITING OF THE WEEK

Each week, to keep the creative juices flowing, I will write something (who knows what?). It will probably be a draft and require some additional love, so please be forgiving. I invite you to join me on this journey. I will try to publish something every Monday.

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